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  • Writer's picturequeerhellth

Case #43

No One Should Feel Scared About Going To See A Doctor


I'm sorry if this is too trivial (and too long), but it happened to me and I still feel bad when I think about it.


I went to the one gynecologist a couple years ago who was really... I don't even know how to define him. I was 20, still figuring out my sexuality and scared as hell. And he didn't believe me about anything.


I knew I was biromantic, and I had had sex before, but 99% of the time it made me uncomfortable and I never really felt like it (now I know I didn't feel sexual attraction). So when the gynecologist asked, I told him I was not a virgin, but I hadn't had sex in years.


I was reading about asexuality and I thought I was somewhere on the spectrum. That's when things started to go wrong, because one, he didn't believe me, and two, he was really okay showing it.


He kept asking me why I don't have sex, how "it's so good, don't you think it's good?" and that maybe I ​was just afraid of having sex. It made me so uncomfortable. There was a nurse in the room but she didn't say anything the whole time and I just felt trapped.


I never went to that doctor again, but what he said made me question everything I was feeling and it took me a long time to accept who I really am because I kept thinking maybe he was right, maybe I was just afraid.

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