Case #33

My Sexuality Isn't Based On Childhood Trauma

I went to an OB/GYN for pain, when the subject of sexual activity came up I mentioned that I thought I was asexual.

After this, my pain was never addressed, the appointment became about ‘fixing’ my asexuality and determining if I had childhood sexual trauma and eventually the doctor pityingly recommended therapy and did not even do an exam for my original problem.

When I did talk to my therapist about possibly being asexual, I was really struggling with it at the time because of the bias I had faced from my friends and the internet, he told me that since I was struggling with it, I was not a ‘real’ asexual and gave me the childhood sexual trauma test (again).

He told me that even if I didn’t want to ‘work on’ my asexuality now, it was something we’d have to do eventually because sex is an important part of people’s lives.

Questioning whether I had been molested as a child was painful and unnecessary and having my sexuality questioned set back my growth and self exploration.